The Three Types of Face-to-Face Human Communication

In face-to-face human interactions, people talk or communicate using three (and sometimes a combination of) different modes. Oftentimes, not being aware of the subtleties that exist among the different types can cause embarrassment (at best) or end up being really offensive leading to (sometimes) physical altercations.

The three types of face-to-face “talks” are:

1. Verbal: what we say (the words we speak)
2. Paraverbal: how we say it (tone, pitch, cadence)
3. Nonverbal: our body language (kinesics) & personal space (proxemics)

When someone is anxious, upset, hostile/aggressive, always use supportive, empathic skills first. Crisis situations can oftentimes be defused using verbal de-escalation skills before reaching the point where physical intervention becomes necessary. Good verbal interventions skills reduce the need for physical intervention.

Empathic Listening Skills: Active process to discern/understand what the other person is really saying.

1. Listen Carefully
2. Give Them Undivided Attention
3. Be Nonjudgmental
4. Use Silence
5. Restate/Paraphrase to Clarify (Reflection)

Do NOT give advice and Do NOT question. Why?

1. It takes the burden off you. Leave the advice-giving to Oprah. You’re there to support, not to play talk show host.
2. It’s ok to give suggestions/ideas/options for a better way.
3. It helps people talk through their problem and vent their frustrations.
4. It helps people feel understood.