Beyond Behaviors

I was eating lunch today with Miwa, my sister Christine, and her husband Tony at Red Robin, a popular hamburger joint here in the Dallas area. For about 60 minutes, I was curiously watching two waitstaff as they went about their tasks of taking care of their tables and its customers. I was drawn to how differently their facial expressions and work modes were.

On the one hand, there was the male waiter who seemed to be in “crisis mode” the entire time. For over 45 minutes, not once did I observe him to smile, even when he handed people their checks. On a few occasions, he even grimaced as if he was suffering from something. For some strange reason, he was always running around…panicking.

Then there was the female waitress who seemed so carefree and always smiling. In stark contrast to the waiter, this waitress was calm and so collected. Though she had as many tables and as many customers to care for, she was never in “crisis mode.” Instead, she worked efficiently and confidently, never panicking.

How could two people, working at the same place, doing exactly the same duties have such different mindsets and attitudes?

As a former waiter, I do realize that sometimes, it’s just not your day or you get very difficult customers at your tables. But, let’s suppose that the guests were about the same and the stress levels comparable between the two. Let’s also assume that there was nothing physically or emotionally wrong with the male waiter. I would venture that the male waiter works in “crisis mode,” always reacting to his environment instead of anticipating or taking preventative steps. The female waitress, on the other hand, avoids the “crisis mode” by planning ahead. She understands her environment and sees the stumbling blocks or obstacles as challenges rather than adversities.

When life comes at you, how do you respond? Are you in crisis mode all the time, most of the time, sometimes, or rarely? If you answered all the time or most of the time, I would encourage you to think about how you approach stressful events or situations. If you tend to react then that might be a sign to start changing your mindset to prepare yourself for life’s “unexpected surprises.”