“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” —Susan Polis Schutz
In mental health, therapists sometimes use the term “locus of control” to get a picture of how a person views the causes of life events. There are two types of locus of control, internal and external. A person with an internal locus of control sees himself as having more control over life events. A person with an external locus of control, on the other hand, sees life dictating control. Internal locus of control is you paddling your boat down the river of life. External locus of control is letting the river of life push and carry you.
As a Disability Services Advisor and Psychotherapist I often see this in students and clients. But beyond the school and clinical settings, I see this in people in general. Perhaps more than anything else, what I often hear goes something like this:
- “I’m so stressed out because I have so much going on.”
- “I’m so tired because X, Y, and Z happened to me!”
- “I’ll never get things done because I need to do A, B, and C.”
The role of counseling is to help people gain or regain their perspective and give them back their sense of control. Most people don’t need a counselor to help them gain perspective, they need good friends or family members to, first of all, be supportive and then, secondly, to share insights and ideas about realistic goals.
As we enter this holiday season, why don’t you take a closer look at your “locus of control” and honestly ask yourself this question:
“Am I controlling my life or is my life controlling me?”
After you answer this question, the next step is to then determine:
Do I want to steer my way through life or let it steer me?
* One visitor (SDC) pointed out the obvious, that although I’ve posted questions, I never really provided answers. I’ll do that in my next post.
December 8th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
But you didn’t tell us how!
December 8th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Hi Steve! I love to read your blog… there is so much to learn.
We miss you here on Saipan… thought you’d like to know.
si, lin
December 8th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Linda: Thank you for visiting. I think the most important lessons (for me) are those “life lessons” that no amount of grad school or workshops can ever teach. As painful as those lessons have been and continues to be, I am grateful that they have helped me get to this point in my life.
SDC: You’re right. I looked through my post and all I saw were questions. I’ll do a follow up post in Part II. My apologies.