Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
—Berthold Auerbach

In late fall of 1997, while living and going to school in Tyler, Texas (a beautiful East Texas town), I had one song that I played over and over in the evening time after dinner. That song was Leann Rimes’ “You Light Up My Life.” For some reason, the words and especially the soothing melody were a source of great inspiration and comfort during that period in my life.

Although the words and song were about love, I found inspiration in it to help me through going back to school. What was so meaningful at that point in time was that it was shortly after I had decided to pursue my Master’s in Psychology. This came about after a long journey of dissatisfaction with my life and self-sabotage resulting in my dismissal from law school.

I knew it was going to be a long journey but I was determined that failure and giving up were not an option this time around. With the help of that song (”You Light Up My Life”), those two semesters in Tyler became not only bearable, but therapeutic.

Instead of picturing a girl (the song has a guy as the object of her affection), I would envision a guardian angel looking out for me. So many nights before heading off to bed, I’d play that song and picture this angel looking down on little ol’ me and it had such a calming effect. My favorite part of the song was: “And you light up my life/You give me hope to carry on…”

“You Light Up My Life”

So many nights I’d sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams, I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now you’ve come along

And you light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

Rollin’ at sea, adrift on the waters
Could it be finally, I’m turning for home
Finally a chance to say, “Hey, I love you”
Never again to be all alone

And you light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

You, you light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song

It can’t be wrong, when it feels so right
’Cause you, you light up my life

Music has been shown to be good medicine. Perhaps one of its most famous, present-day advocate is Dr. Oliver Sacks (whose book “Awakenings” was made into a film starring Robin Williams and Robert De Niro).

Dr. Sacks reports that:

[M]usic can animate people with Parkinson’s disease who cannot otherwise move, give words to stroke patients who cannot otherwise speak, and calm and organize people whose memories are ravaged by Alzheimer’s or amnesia.

Music “elicit[s] emotions and associations that had been long forgotten, giving the patient access once again to mood and memories, thoughts and worlds that had seemingly been completely lost.”

The power of music is unmistakeable. It doesn’t just move the heart or inspire the mind, it can literally move body parts (of people with medical conditions and in whom medical science could not help).

So let me now ask two questions of our readers today:

1. Can you recall a time when music (song, instruments, etc.) moved you?
2. If yes, when was it and how did the music “move” you?

I would like to wish the readers, loyal visitors, and subscribers of Beyond Behaviors a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. As I look back on this past year, I have so much to be thankful for.

First, I am thankful for my wife, Miwa, who loves & supports me unconditionally. She makes me want to be a better husband and a better human being. Second, I am grateful for my family who loves me. And though they still don’t know what I do for a living, they always want me to be happy. Third, I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my friends and former colleagues in Saipan (Becky Flores, Patty Mendoza, LJ Tenorio-Fejeran, Percy Torres, Thelma Cing, and Erica Sonoda Thornburgh) for their friendships, their dedication, and their desire to serve the needs of children.

Finally, my wish for the Beyond Behaviors readers/subscribers is to find that little joy during times of sorrows, to be that little light when there’s darkness, to rise above the system of mediocrity and strive to be your best, and above all to always believe that:

“You Will Because You Can.”
Follow Your Heart. Believe in Yourself. Transform Your Life.

Warmly yours,

Steve Nguyen

Beyond Behaviors
www.beyondbehaviors.com
Personal Development & Transformation

It’s now been 3 days since our departure from Saipan. We’re currently in Tokyo right now (apparently the typhoon has followed us here). We’re sorry that we were not able to meet up with everyone before we left but the many errands and tasks that were required to be completed were many and our time short.

I want to take this opportunity to thank some very important and special people who have been especially kind the last few days prior and up to our departure.

1. Kimiko Hasegawa: Thank you so much for booking us the free room at PIC on our last night in Saipan. Spending time relaxing in Saipan’s best hotel with a close friend meant so much to us. You really helped to reduce our stress level as we prepared for our departure.

2. Cinta & Gus Kaipat: Your continued support, encouragement, collaborative spirit, and gentleness will always stay close to my heart. I look forward, with the utmost joy, when the opportunity comes up for me to return to Saipan to do consulting work.

3. Aya & Willie Matsumoto: Thank you for your hospitality and friendships. Miwa and I consider ourselves so lucky to have met you both. Kuri-ya Restaurant was oishii!

4. Hideo Honda (Honda-san): Words cannot describe the goodness in you. You went out of your way to visit with us and even took time to see us off at the airport. When you weren’t able to reach us, you contacted a friend, Yoshi-san, to help you locate us inside the airport. You truly are a man of great character and honor.

5. Yoshi-san: Northwest Airlines should be so thankful to have you on its staff. You helped expedite our check-in process and even relayed the phone call from Honda-san to us!

6. Zeny, Glenn & Susan: We will really miss our friendly neighors and we will miss the adorable and energetic Jack and his long eye lashes sister, Sarah!

As we embark on the next phase of our lives, Miwa and I would like to thank Saipan and the CNMI community for embracing us and fostering our growth and development as professionals, but even more importantly…as human beings.

Until we next meet again online.

“In the early morning hours of spring 1979, with borrowed money and falsified documents to ensure our escape, my family and I (then 8½ years old) joined about 600 other “boat people” and got onto a tiny vessel in search of a better life. Three days and four nights later, after outrunning Thai pirates and discarding two dead bodies, we found ourselves helpless and stranded at sea with little food and water remaining.”

For some reason, my memories from that night and the boat ride are still very vivid. Though some 28 years have passed since then, if I closed my eyes and concentrate I can still “see” that night.

To my friends and colleagues who have been fortunate to grow up without war, without adversity, without fear — please cherish your freedom. It is a privilege that can easily be taken away.

I hope you guys have a super FUN summer.

Remember to always treat others with respect and
try your very best, in school and in life.

The 4 key stages that Dr. Deegan talks about are:

1) Inside Inside: “I’m inside the hospital” physically but also begin to believe it mentally.
2) Inside Outside: You get a glimpse of hope that even though you’re inside physically, you begin to mentally believe that there’s hope beyond the hospital walls.
3) Outside Inside: Once discharged from the hospital (you’re now outside), you continue to trap yourself thinking like you were still inside because you were so used to people telling you when to eat, bathe, take your meds, and what to do and when to do things.
4) Outside Outside: The last stage where you regain your life back, physically, mentally, and emotionally!

I highly encourage everyone to watch this wonderful movie. You can get a VHS or DVD copy of the movie “Inside Outside: Building a Meaningful Life After the Hospital” for FREE! Simply contact SAMHSA directly at (800) 789-2647 or go to SAMHSA National Mental Information Center and look for:

Inside Outside: Building a Meaningful Life After the Hospital: DVD Version (NMH05-0199)
Inside Outside: Building a Meaningful Life After the Hospital: VHS Version (NMH05-0201)

We had a great turnout tonight at Guma Dinana and had a very engaging discussion and some great comments from peers (consumers) as well as mental health providers.

Thank you so much George for sharing about your experiences, your triumphs as well as your struggles. When one of the peers (consumers) asked George what his life is like now, George said that although his life is better, he still has his “ups and downs.”

I think the two biggest lessons I got from George’s message are:

(1) Help yourself and find your support system (family, friends, etc.)
(2) Know your limits, your strengths, and weaknesses and get help if and when you need it.

For the past 7 weeks, I have been conducting (with the kind assistance of Principal, Charlotte Camacho and Vice-Principal, Marty Dalsaso) a Life Skills Group at GTC Elementary here on Saipan. This last Thursday, Mar. 22nd was my last time with the group. For 7 weeks, we shared stories, activities, as well as worked on improving our behaviors and life skills. I will miss you guys and I thank you for letting me in to your circle and in to your lives.

Photo: The students gather for cake and cookies!

Photo: Look at the beautiful cake they got for me. Thank you Mrs. Camacho.

I was a bit nervous starting out because I had never met the students before nor had I ever been to Whispering Palms. So I took out some photos and started telling the story of my life in Vietnam - what life was like growing up in a Communist country, how my family and I escaped in the dead of night, how we were rescued at sea and brought onto a tiny island in Indonesia, and how we eventually made it to the United States.

I was so touched when the students read some of the poems they wrote about boat people. If they had read one or two more, I would have cried. To this very day, I am still amazed about the things I went through, the things I saw, the things my family and I endured to get to this point in our lives. I think more than anything, it speaks to the power of the human spirit to succeed and survive in the face of, sometimes, unspeakable challenges.

Thank you again for inviting me to your class. I wish I could go with your class trip to Vietnam. Email me and send lots of photos ok? Especially Kai.

What’s unique is that Kanji represent ideas rather than words. My wife tells me that the character “人” is two people supporting and holding each other up. How simple and yet fitting to describe human beings (all 6 billion and counting) on this earth.

In my job and in my life, I’ve met many people from all walks of life. More often than not, the happiest ones were those who understood that life is not about making the most money or cutting corners to get ahead or trying to make it alone. No, the happiest people are the ones who realize (like the characters “人”) that life is about helping and leaning on each other.