3 Things About Happy People

I was fortunate enough last Thursday to be sent to a National Association for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) conference held here at Collin County Community College. I stayed for half of the day and was able to hear four speakers. And though each of them had something important to share about mental health and mental illness, perhaps the best speaker (in my opinion) didn’t speak about mental illness at all. Rather, Steve Blow (Dallas Morning News columnist) spoke about happiness.

Steve said there are 3 things that happy people do that makes them happy.

(1) One thing that happy people do that makes them happy is that they leave the past behind. Happy people don’t dwell on the past. Steve shared a wonderful story about a woman named Geri who grew up in an abusive home with an alcoholic father. Tragically, the drunken and abusive father murdered his wife and then committed suicide leaving behind, Geri and her 4 siblings. After their parents deaths, Geri and the 4 kids were sent to Buckner Children’s home here in Dallas, Texas. For many years, Geri was angry and resented being there. But then one day, she told herself that she wasn’t going to let her past dictate her future anymore. Today, Geri is a busy court-reporting professional with a full-time job and family. She didn’t dwell on her past and instead left it behind.

(2) The second thing that happy people do that makes them happy is that they talk to themselves. Happy people are positive. They talk to and encourage themselves. Steve told of a beautiful story of a man named Sam Phelps. Steve met Sam when Sam contacted him about how he might clear his (Sam’s) name because there was another man, also named Sam Phelps, who was on his way to prison. This, naturally, made (the innocent) Sam Phelps very nervous at having his clients believe that it was him!

When Steve Blow showed up to interview, boy was he surprised to find that instead of a big, strong stock broker that there was a tiny man in a wheelchair. In the course of interviewing Sam, Steve learned a lot about the character of a truly strong and happy person.

Sam shared that growing up in the 1950’s in a wheelchair was different than it is now. He won a scholarship to a well-known private university here in Dallas. Then he worked hard at just getting a chance to work at a stock brokerage firm. However, unlike his other coworkers, Sam was only paid commission and no salary. But he worked hard and his personality and charms won many people over.

The office that Sam and his coworkers shared had a big window which looked out into a used car office building right across the parking lot. That used car office had the prettiest girls and Sam and his buddies would always watch to see which one was working that day.

One day, Sam noticed the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He would watch her and soon found himself just smittened by this girl. He looked up the phone number in the phone book and dialed the office. When the girl answered the phone, Sam told her that he had been watching her from his office right across the parking lot and he told her how pretty he thought she was. Intrigued by the call, the young lady asked him to stand up!

Sam thought as quickly as he could and picked out the best-looking guy in the office. “Bobby, stand up!”

So impressed was the girl that they made a date for Saturday night.

Well, wouldn’t you know it when the pretty young girl opened her door that Saturday night and instead of handsome Bobby, there sat little Sam Phelps in his wheelchair.

At this point, Steve Blow stopped Sam and turned to the woman sitting next to him.

“And how mad were you?” asked Steve.

“Well, I was plenty mad but his confident and warm personality won me over,” explained Sam’s wife.

Sam Phelps is an example of a positive person who didn’t let his life circumstance drag him down. Instead he saw his future ahead of him and he worked towards it.

(3) The third thing that happy people do that makes them happy is that they have the most gratification in life. Gratification is the good feeling you get when you do something good with your life. The last story was about June and her daughter Sherry. June had heard about a community group that met on Saturdays to help the developmentally disabled group in the neighborhood. So she decided to drag her daughter, almost kicking and screaming, to the first meeting. The next Saturday, it took a little less work to convince Sherry to go and then it was a little bit less after that. Soon, Sherry got up on her own every Saturday morning to go spend time with her new friends at the community center. One day, they announced that the volunteer project was over and that the group wasn’t meeting anymore. Sherry took it upon herself and convinced a local church to allow her to host the group on Saturday mornings. At first a few people came and then soon more people came.

Today, like every Saturday for the past 39 years, Sherry opens up the Saturday group for her developmentally disabled friends, only they’ve grown up now and the group is for adults.

Sherry felt gratification when she did something good with her life.

My question to the readers out there: What are some things that you do that makes you happy?